I brought “3” Squash Plants Home

I didn’t know what I was doing. Like, I really didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t suddenly wake up one morning knowing how to grow a garden. I didn’t know all the right soil to use, how far apart everything needed to be planted, what leaves I needed to cut off, or exactly how much water was too much water… Just imagine me, in the midst of the sun coming up, quiet, peacefully talking to my baby squash.. “come on babies, just grow for me, we can do this”. Half the time, I was looking at them wondering, “Are you supposed to look like that?’

I asked questions, looked things up, I moved them from containers, to pots, to eventually our red clay ground. I worried over the yellowing leaves, and bugs, or whether or not I had planted them in the completely wrong place. I definitely made mistakes… The funniest thing I learned… was I didn’t have 3 tiny squash plants… as they grew and grew, I come to realize I had NINE enormous squash plants sprawling all over the place. I carefully separated them the best I could, praying I wouldn’t ruin them.

Somewhere along the way I realized something: I was learning. Not before I started, but because I started. I put things in the dirt without knowing exactly how it would turn out. I watered them, checked on them, talked to them, prayed about them, most of all I just kept showing up.

That little tiny squash plant probably didn’t look like anything special, just a tiny plant with some roots and dirt hanging from it, held in the hand of someone who was still figuring out what in the world she was doing. But I look at this picture differently now, because I think a lot of my life has looked exactly like this lately. I don’t know exactly what I am doing, or where all of this is going. Stepping out of my comfort zone, with so much faith, it’s overwhelming some days, but it feels so good. Quietly making changes in my life, moving through seasons that I haven’t shared yet. I never imagined that maybe telling my story could be what someone needed to hear.

There are so many things I’ve almost talked myself out of because I didn’t feel ready enough, knowledgeable enough, or sure enough. Gardening has taught me something though; You don’t have to know what the whole garden is going to look like before you plant the first thing. Sometimes you just need to put your hands in the dirt. You plant what you’ve been given, tend to what’s in front of you, learn as you go, and trust God with what grows from it.

Those little squash plants grew, and provided my family with some delicious homegrown squash, that I believe we all got so overly excited over… I found so much joy in watching something so simple grow. I’m not so sure it’s all about the squash. My kids were so happy to see me so thrilled over something so small. They were rooting for me and my little plants, like I have always been right there rooting for them their entire life. And that my friends is the sweetest feeling in the world.

There’s a lot of little things in my life that I have planted without knowing exactly what they’ll become. I’m finally beginning to understand that I don’t need to see the finished garden to trust in the One who already has the whole entire garden in the palm of his hands. I just have to be willing to plant.